Master

I defended my masters last friday.

Everything was absolutely great. In fact I was quite worried because I had a sore throat since the day before, and so there was a chance that I wouldn't have a voice to use in my presentation. However, even though my throat didn't get all better I was able to do it without any further problems.

Also, I'm glad to say that the presentation itself was absolutely flawless. The examining comitee had a few points to make about the dissertation itself, but they were all minor. There were also lots of comments and general questions about stuff related to the work. All in all, however, there were more compliments than any other thing. I was very proud, and so was my advisor.

On a particular note, one of the members of the comitee knew my father from childhood. He made a "statement", so to speak, at the end , in which he expressed personal satisfaction with my defense, since he was involved in my decision to major in Physics.

It almost made me cry, because he remembered my dad in a way that is most cherished by me. But it also made me very happy, because I will never forget that.

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My father.

The last time I spoke to my dad was about ten days ago. He was getting better from his illness (he suffered from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, a disease that slowly deteriorates the lungs with no chance of recovery), enough for the hospital to consider sending him home. But, as it turns out, I was the last person to talk to him. Ever.

We talked about many things. Family, friends, grad school, the Higgs boson...

But I can't help but think that I never said that I loved him, very much, enough times. I am sure he knew that, but this feeling never goes away.

Of all the people who were part of my life until now, he was the one person who was responsible for me being who I am today. He was the one person I looked up to the most.

With him I learned the facts of life. That life is much more than the endless pursuit of money or knowledge or love or anything. That life must be lived to the fullest. And that one only accomplishes that by taking the most out of every moment. "Carpe diem" was his message.

Most of all, the one thing I am going to miss most is the unshakable faith he had in me. For every moment in my whole life, good or bad, he was always there. He was always the first one to support me, regardless of the situation. I always knew I could count on him. And, whenever the outlook on things seemed dark, he would say: "don't worry, be happy". And, like magic, all problems suddenly became no more than a footnote.

He was human, though. And, as such, he made a lot of mistakes. To me the really important thing is that, no matter what, he always aimed for the best and never gave up.

From now on, whenever I have difficulties in life, I won't worry. I'll be happy, because the memory of my father will remain with me. And I will remember that I'm human, and that most certainly I will make a lot of mistakes. But I will always aim for the best, and I will never give up.

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24 hours.

Tomorrow my girlfriend leaves for Finland.

She's going to be away for three years to do her PhD. Although the possibility existed ever since I first met her, it only became real abou two months ago when she finally got accepted.

I have to admit that part of me was kinda hoping she wouldn't get it. I do not need to be reminded that it was narrow-minded and selfish, to say the least. It's the opportunity of a lifetime.

When she first me told me I kept silent for a long time before saying anything. Not because I was mad or anything, but because I was in shock. I'm not sure why - all I know is that there's something about long-distance relationships that really freaks me out. I can't tell what it is. I know people who were in LDRs before - some of those worked out and some didn't. One way or another, I know for a fact that it's very difficult, especially for someone as paranoid as I am. I think that's an issue I will have to learn how to deal with.

Of all the problems I am facing these days this is the one I should not be worrying about, because both of us are quite sure about how we feel about each other and are committed to making it work. I have problems that have absolutely not a chance to be solbed quickly or easily, since they require both patience and perseverance, not to mention all the help I can get.

But she's all I can think about.

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