Life is Viewtiful

Ok, so I skipped my classes today. Both my advisor's and japanese. For some reason I thought I wasn't in the mood to go. I know, I know, it's not something one should have a mood for. But I just didn't want to go, so I didn't. It was wrong, and maybe reckless, but to be honest I don't give a damn. Not today.

Sometimes people should do just that, simply forget about things like "okay, so I have to do this today" or, "I'm doing this because I have to". Obviously I'm not saying people should forget about their responsibilities, ever. What I'm saying is that, sometimes, people should just take a break and do whatever they want, because it maintains their mental sanity. Works for me, at least.

Surprisingly I'm quite inspired to write here today. And I know exacty why: Today I've done something I've never done in my life. In fact, I was going to write down here everything that happened and why I did what I did, but in the end I think it's better not. There are things that are too personal to be spoken of (and written about) in a blog. The right people will understand if I say that I took action (thanks Pivo!).

The butterflies are not gone. But they are a lot happier.

Live is Viewtiful.

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Butterflies

There is someone whose mere sight makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach. I'm not sure why this happens, but I know that she centainly does fascinate me. We don't have much contact apart from MSN, and to be true I believe it only enhances that feeling.

The problem is, I'm not sure what to do. When it comes to subjects like this I'm gruesomely shy and insecure.

It's quite amazing that I'm writing about this here. I usually don't write about such personal matters, but in this case I'm making an exception because I need to get it outside my system...

And she's beautiful. Oh so very so.

Soundtrack: Garbage - Fix Me Now

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Indecision

I confess that one of the things that bugs me the most about other people is indecision. I can't stand being held back because someone else can't make his or her mind. It's not that I don't like indecisive people, it's the situation that makes me uncomfortable.

Needless to say, that reaches new levels when I realize I'm not sure about some decision I have to make. It doesn't need to be about something important, or even about something concrete - sometimes I can't decide about simple conjectures I make up on my own mind.

I see people on the street and automatically begin creating hypothetical situations with them, where they are coming from, where they are going to, what's on their minds, what are their wishes, needs, dreams. These are the conjectures I'm talking about.

I'm not sure why I began writing about that. It just "popped up", out of nowhere.

I was going to write about something else here. Obviously, I already forgot it. Well, not quite. My point is, I have things I want to talk about, but I don't feel comfortable doing so. With everything that is going on with my life these days, I thought I would have something better to talk about here. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything right now. Oh well.

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Hmm. Good cake...

In the last few weeks a lot has happened. One thing is for certain: I feel good. I have good friends, I work with what I wish I was working with. I have the good fortune of not having any serious problems.

Actually, it's quite curious. When things are not going well, there's always something to write about here. Now almost everything is fine, and when I sit down to write a new post I can't help but to fall into some kind of deep meditative state, where I can only think about things like, what do I have to do to be a better person, am I too overconfident or arrogant. But, most of all, what keeps coming to me is some kind of loneliness, that makes me gaze into the space out the window, thinking whatever it is that people think when they do things like that. It's weird, because when that happens I'm focused on something, but I can't actually realize what it is. Maybe it's my subconsciousness playing tricks on me, I don't know. Sometimes I think it's me searching for something inside myself, as if looking out the window would give me a glance at my own inner self.

Oh man, I'm not making any sense. The truth is, I have some issues I'm not able to talk about, because there's no way I can describe them. It's kind of disturbing, sometimes, having something on my mind that at the same time I do and I don't know that really is.

Am I that strange? Do other people trip like that sometimes?

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Uncertain

A lot has been on my mind lately. It's quite a mess, to be honest.

Nothing is going terribly wrong in my life, to be honest. My studies are ok, my financial entanglements are finally coming to an end, I have good friends.

But there is something missing.

I'm not sure what it is, but there's an empty space in my life. It's been there for a while now, looking at me like some kind of predator, waiting for the right moment to strike at me. The problem is, it never does, it just keeps being there, in the shadows, deep enough for me to act like it's not really there, but close enough to the surface to make sure I don't forget it's there, watching me, bugging me, even tormenting me sometimes.

And I can't help but think about it.

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Passing through

Just stopping by, to keep things running.

My ribs still hurt. As much as I hate the romans: a LOT.

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Ouch.

Okay. A friend tried to toss me into the pool in a very clumsy way, and I hit the edge with my ribs.

Fortunately, I drink a lot of milk since I was a child, so nothing serious really happened. But I'm going through a very unpleasant pain near my chest. But it's alright, I'm gonna be fine.

Besides that, the live I was going to run today was postponed, for what it seems. Not happy about that, but I think it's better that way.

That's it. See ya.

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Not in the mood

I'm not in the mood to post here. Just posting to keep things running, really.

This week is unbelievably busy...

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