I hate banks. Apparently, the feeling in mutual.

So banks hate me. Or, at least, Santander does. For some obscure reason I'm not aware of, every single time I need something out of the ordinary from them, it's excruciatingly painful to get it. Somehow they find a way to keep annoying me with endless, random problems.

For the last whole month I've been trying to get myself a cheque-book to pay for my driving lessons and overdue rent. I ordered in through netbanking, that little thingy that supposedly makes life easier for everyone. However, after the 5 weekdays it asked for delivery, it still hadn't arrived. I went to the ATM terminal (here in Brazil, due to overall high usage of cheque for almost everything, they are quite common), and it refused to give me some single cheque forms. Then, I went to the manager, in order to ask why this problem was occurring. She answered that, for some reason, there were two books that were ordered that went to the postal service's limbo - four years ago. Assuming that this was the issue, she cancelled those and told me she would order another one the next day, so I wouldn't have to worry about anything, and in 6 weekdays I would receive the book at home.

Approximately twenty days later (that's today), I went again to the ATM to try and get some single cheque forms, which I needed desperately for today - no room for any more delays. However, as expected, the ATM refused to print them. Rage began to accumulate inside. I went straight to the manager, asked what the hell was wrong and demanded five cheque forms today - no discussion.

After several minutes, a crash in the computer (which runs Windoze), and two more people from the neighboring tables helping out, she finally discovered that, due to a R$ 2,70 (about US$ 1,35) tax that SOMEHOW wasn't paid - BACK IN 2003. FOUR years ago! FOUR. YEARS.

The real catch is, their "system" only allows for "negotiation" of values above R$ 10,00 (about US$ 5,00) - which means that, since it wasn't paid, and wasn't enough for "negotiation", it went nowhere else than the limbo. Until, after three managers digging thoroughly the records in their "system", it finally arose to haunt me.

This was the last time I cut them some slack for their incompetence. I finally lost my patience with this crappy hell-hole they claim to be a bank, As soon as I get my stipend for this month (which is tomorrow) I'll pay the goddamn money and close the account.

And to think that they've IMPROVED after privatization.

P.S.: I wish I could swear better in english. Since I can't, I'll do it in portuguese anyway.

Malditos filhos da puta, cuspidos do rabo de uma porca fedida no pântano do Rio Tietê! Incompetentes do caralho, como esses animais de teta conseguiram aprender a usar um computador?? COMO esses débeis mentais aprenderam a FALAR?? Façam um favor ao mundo e se matem.

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Why I hate crowded places

Today was the Gay Pride Parade in São Paulo. The city's most prominent avenue, the Paulista Avenue, was completely taken by about 3,5 million people (according to the people who organized the parade). My girlfriend wanted to see it, and it was on the way home from her granny's house, so we would have to go there anyway.

First of all, I'd like to say I don't hold anything against other people's sexual options. Everyone should be free to decide about their own lives.

My problem is with crowds. For one, it's an experimental fact that people's intelligence decreases with the number of people in a crowd. Usually it's the lowesst individual IQ divided by the number of people. And so, people in crowds do a lot of stupid things. Like pushing other people like there's no tomorrow, just to walk from point A to point B.

And they drink a lot. A LOT. And drunk people are among the most annoying people in the universe. Not to mention when they throw up because they don't know how to drink.

Finally, there are those who don't go anywhere without wanting to pick a fight. All these people want is some uproar, tumult, chaos, disturbance, and stuff like that. And these are the worst, I might add - they are the ones who end up showing up in the newspaper when they spank another person, get arrested, or do some other stupid thing like that. Obviously, though, the fame goes for everyone who has anything to do with the event these Nature Mistakes were in.

All of these factors really have the power to make me really angry. In occasions like these I get so upset my stomach hurts, my head hurts, my whole organism gets upset.

But what really upsets me is that, being angry like that, I fail to take into account what other people want or think. I get obnoxious, stubborn, even stupid (after all, I'm another element of the crowd, and the intelligence decrease applies to me as well). My girlfriend was really looking forward to this particular parade, and in the end we didn't stop even for a minute to look around and see the good things that happen there - after all, and this I have to say in favor of gay people, they are usually more true to themselves, and more honest with other people, and in being so they become really interesting people because they are genuine.

Anyway, the point of all this gibberish(?) is that I hate crowded places because they bring forth the worst parts of my personality, aspects of myself that I don't like at all.

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Scary face

A friend has told me that I get scary when I'm angry. Scary.

That took me by surprise, I must say. I know I make it obvious when I'm not happy about something (after all, I do rant a lot). However when I get really angry at something or someone I don't rant, nor yell or anything - I just remain silent. And with a scary look on my face that, it seems, insists on showing herself even when I'm not that angry.

That's a double-edged knife. Except when I am pissed off, that is when I choose not to speak to anyone, I do want people to come and talk to me, so I can get it out of my system and let it go, even if sometimes "exploding" at people, which really does not mean much, except that I trust that person enough to know it's just temporary. It seems bizarre, I know, and by most perspectives it really is, but that's the way I deal with that - it's part of who I am.

That's a bit different when I really get pissed off, because I withdraw from wherever I am and try to isolate myself, deliberately avoiding contact with other people, especially friends and loved ones, to prevent going really mad. Fortunately, very few people have ever seen it happen. The main reason I isolate myself is because I'm afraid of that trait of my personality - I'm afraid I might do or say soem pretty nasty things to people I really care about. This is the kind of stuff I don't want to get out, absorbing them and using the introspective moments I get from isolation to meditate about many things, which means that it tends to fade away.

As I like to think, that which is not solved by Time is made smoother by it. It means that even the most bitter fight between two friends can be put to an end given time and a good dialogue.

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